He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize