at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
