News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
