votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
