I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
this is an emotional support booty call
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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