So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize