My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
