I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
