I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it because I queefed?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
