My first STD was from a foam party
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
