Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
