did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I could make wine with my vomit
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
