So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
