So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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