so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize