a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
