Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
