Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
