Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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