don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You took a bar mat shot.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
