Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
