I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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