Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
