you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
