can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
