So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
