I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
