I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
