butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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