so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
