i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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