she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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