Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
