This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
