maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize