take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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