Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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