This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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