how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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