I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
