dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
