Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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