I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
