My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
