my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
