Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
