We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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