I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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