Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
