The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
