dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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