hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
