what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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