Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
