All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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