so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize