yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
