I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
