There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
