Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
