Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
