I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
