I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
