party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
