I want to stick my p in your. b.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
