she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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