is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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