Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
