I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Say something about gay babies.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
